Yesterday, pre-noon, a volume of text messages began between a local (very local) business owner and an employee. The texts appear to be a list of non-existent books and authors whose name pronunciations reference said books. You may remember the old standards like, "Yellow River" by I. P. Freely etc.
The messages have been leaked to me and I would like to share them with you, the reader/drinker. Many of these texts are graphic in nature. Parental guidance is advised. It should also be known that reading these texts could lead to unexpected groaning and grimacing.
The following is an excerpt from the correspondence. Here you go....
Sunday June 12
10:07 a.m.- BA Another book title: "The Rainbow Connection" by Amanda Hugginkiss
10:09 a.m.-PP "Today I Sit" by Stan Tamara
10:15 a.m. BA "Home Alone" by Jack Goff
10:17 a.m. PP "Great Expectations" by Anne T. Sepation
10:39 a.m. BA "Near Miss" by Sully D. Pants
11:08 a.m. PP "Naughty Girl" by Lucinda Kaboose
11:09 a.m. BA “Social Butterfly” by Greg Arious
11:20 a.m. BA “Home Alone 2 by Rosie Palm. Ok, that was too easy
11:24 a.m. BA “Reagan Democrats: A New Congress.” by Eileen Wright
11:26 a.m. PP “Asian Republican” by Irene Wright
11:26 a.m. BA “My Life As An Asian Republican.” by Irene Wright
11:26 a.m. BA You were quicker than me
11:27 a.m. PP Ha
11:28 a.m. BA “A Life In Crime” by Jimmy Delocke
11:31 a.m. BA “1001 Bad Gay Jokes” by Peter N. Butts. Illustrated by Rich A. Round
11:33 a.m. BA “American Gigalo” by I. B. Hoeing
11:37 a.m. BA ”Urban Hipsters” by Anne Droge-Innis
11:45 a.m. BA “Stash the Cash” by Barry D. Monet
----Then a long break
1:16 p.m. PP “Life in the Post-Modern World” by Cashious King
3:00 p.m. PP “It’s Not Gay if it’s a 3 Way” by Sharon Moorhead
----Then another break
8:35 p.m. PP “Shaking Apart” by Grant Malsey-Shure
8:46 p.m. BA “What I learned In Prison” by Rob A. Banks
9:01 p.m. BA “Plumbing Problems” by Aretha Trickle
9:03 p.m. PP Alright You finally made me laugh out loud......“The 1 Thing I Love” by Cory Moshun
9:05 p.m. PP Btw. This all goes on the blog.
9:06 p.m. BA Sweet, Made for a good Sunday afternoon too.
9:09 p.m. PP “You Got That Right ” by Thad Fodam-Schure
9:19 p.m. PP You are definitely my favorite employer..................by Blossoun Shinopy-Hearaz
10:22 p.m. PP “It Could Happen” by Dray Gonulong
10:41 p.m. BA “Identity Problems of the Elderly” by Graham E. Tranny
10:49 p.m. BA “Dude Looked Like a Lady” by Jenn DerBender
11:10 p.m. BA “A Boy’s Fantasy” by Les B. Anne. Too easy?
Then, without warning, as someone was trying to sleep Monday morning...
7:31 a.m. BA “How LeBron James Became a Superstar” by B. A. D’Bagge