Monday, June 13, 2011

Leaked Documents!

Yesterday, pre-noon, a volume of text messages began between a local (very local) business owner and an employee.  The texts appear to be a list of non-existent books and authors whose name pronunciations reference said books. You may remember the old standards like, "Yellow River" by I. P. Freely etc.

The messages have been leaked to me and I would like to share them with you, the reader/drinker.  Many of these texts are graphic in nature.  Parental guidance is advised.  It should also be known that reading these texts could lead to unexpected groaning and grimacing.

The following is an excerpt from the correspondence.  Here you go....

Sunday June 12
10:07 a.m.- BA  Another book title: "The Rainbow Connection" by Amanda Hugginkiss

10:09 a.m.-PP  "Today I Sit" by Stan Tamara

10:15 a.m. BA  "Home Alone" by Jack Goff

10:17 a.m. PP  "Great Expectations" by Anne T. Sepation

10:39 a.m. BA  "Near Miss" by Sully D. Pants

11:08 a.m. PP  "Naughty Girl" by Lucinda Kaboose

11:09 a.m. BA “Social Butterfly” by Greg Arious

11:20 a.m. BA “Home Alone 2  by Rosie Palm. Ok, that was too easy
11:24 a.m. BA “Reagan Democrats: A New Congress.” by Eileen Wright

11:26 a.m. PP “Asian Republican” by Irene Wright

11:26 a.m. BA “My Life As An Asian Republican.” by Irene Wright

11:26 a.m. BA You were quicker than me

11:27 a.m. PP  Ha            

11:28 a.m. BA “A Life In Crime” by Jimmy Delocke

11:31 a.m. BA “1001 Bad Gay Jokes” by Peter N. Butts.  Illustrated by Rich A. Round

11:33 a.m. BA “American Gigalo” by I. B. Hoeing

11:37 a.m. BA  ”Urban Hipsters” by Anne Droge-Innis

11:45 a.m. BA “Stash the Cash” by Barry D. Monet

----Then a long break

1:16 p.m. PP “Life in the Post-Modern World” by Cashious King

3:00 p.m. PP “It’s Not Gay if it’s a 3 Way” by Sharon Moorhead

----Then another break

8:35 p.m. PP “Shaking Apart” by Grant Malsey-Shure

8:46 p.m. BA “What I learned In Prison” by Rob A. Banks

9:01 p.m. BA “Plumbing Problems” by Aretha Trickle

9:03 p.m. PP Alright  You finally made me laugh out loud......“The 1 Thing I Love” by Cory Moshun

9:05 p.m. PP Btw. This all goes on the blog.

9:06 p.m. BA Sweet, Made for a good Sunday afternoon too.

9:09 p.m. PP “You Got That Right ” by Thad Fodam-Schure

9:19 p.m. PP You are definitely my favorite Blossoun Shinopy-Hearaz

10:22 p.m. PP “It Could Happen” by Dray Gonulong

10:41 p.m. BA “Identity Problems of the Elderly” by Graham E. Tranny

10:49 p.m. BA “Dude Looked Like a Lady” by Jenn DerBender

11:10 p.m. BA “A Boy’s Fantasy” by Les B. Anne.  Too easy?

Then, without warning, as someone was trying to sleep Monday morning...

7:31 a.m. BA “How LeBron James Became a Superstar” by B. A. D’Bagge